The Break up

My question is if Ross was wrong in what he did. Rachel obviously was rightful in being mad but did Ross really did anything wrong, both morally and technically.

Well as a woman I think when I hear this my instinct would be to say that Ross was wrong,forget whether morally or technically.But then after I wait till my better sense prevails, it becomes hard to judge this.What would a girl do if she was Racheal? Probably what she did.So technically I mean absolutely technically maybe by the book Ross was right. I mean his girlfriend just broke up with him so he is off the hook to screw around!And he did!So was he wrong. By the book ,NO,he was not.

But he was certainly wrong in expecting Racheal to take him back . There are some things that you just don’t do because it reflects on your sentiments about it. You don’t go around jumping when you have lost someone. You don’t go about celebrating when you just failed an exam. I mean yeah maybe you will, but the point I am trying to make it, when bad things happen to you, you mourn. The way you choose to do it is different. You might project a very happy self to the world and cry your eyes out in the pillow when you are alone or you can be a big cry baby and hug every other person in the road and express you feelings. But you mourn.I am not saying here that you don’t move on, I am saying the enormity of the situation does hit you and you do feel bad about things.And no mourning by sleeping with the hot girl from the copy place is not quite acceptable.More so we as people live by rules, like it or not. Even those which claim to break every rule actually secretly live by rules. Why? Because they give us a semblance of stability. They make everything seem normal and according to a destined plan.

That is why we dont like it when things dont go according to a plan or a rule. And you don’t just sleep with someone the moment you break up with someone else. I mean what does that tell the other person. I would deduce something like spite or just “i am so relieved i am not with you anymore”. Whether you like it or not thats the message you are sending to your spouse.And being drunk certainly is not an excuse. then things would be way too easy.

“Oh,honey sorry I dint come home yesterday, I was so drunk that my secretary and I had a jolly good time”

“Oh dont worry about it , at the party yesterday night i was so clobbered that Jerry from purchase ,I hope it was Jerry from purchase was great”

That is how a typical conversation among couples would be. So I am ruling out the drunken defense.

So you dont just break up with someone and sleep with someone else AND expect your blink-and-she-wont-be-an-ex -anymore ex to take you back. Sorry Ross just does’nt work that way. And I have got to say that more than anything sticking by what he did with the “we were on a break” excuse was even worse and cemented any hopes he had of patching things up with Racheal. Here I agree with Archu’s comment on our previous question post.

So maybe as a concrete answer, even after thinking about it , I would say it was wrong.Definitely wrong if he wanted Racheal to take him back. So I pretty much agree with my instinct. Well that is why i detest way too much logic

Now lets hear from you guys!

” We were on a Break “

Good to be back to post another question. This ones tricky as I am anticipating a unified response from the female fraternity. But still worth taking a chance. So here goes.

I guess everyone remembers the famous TV show – Friends. Two of its prominent characters, Ross and Rachel had turbulent times before they finally got together at the end of he show. The question lies in one of these emotional moments that they shared. As we all know, The relationship that started initially ended with Ross’ jealousy over Rachel’s co-worker Mark. Believing them to be “on a break”, Ross slept with Chloe, the “cute girl from the copy place with a belly-button ring”. When Rachel found out, she broke up with Ross in a famous scene in Monica’s apartment, which involved Ross and Rachel arguing in Monica’s living room while the other four Friends were trapped in Monica’s bedroom, afraid of interrupting the argument.

My question is if Ross was wrong in what he did. Rachel obviously was rightful in being mad but did Ross really did anything wrong, both morally and technically.

Lets see what my partner has to say on this issue

The Martian Perspective

 A good response I should say to this blog idea. I am here just to give the martian perspective on the issue I raised in my previous blog, An Attempt…. The issue was whom would you prefer? A male or a female Boss.

The response was a mixed bag. I had this misconception that the ladies will unite together and thrash the male boss option with the stereotype of “guys being good for nothing” argument On the contrary,  and to my utter surprise, male bosses did get a thumbs up from a section of the female fraternity. One of the major reasons given were that male counterpart is easy going on the ladies and gives them a free hand at times. Even though it suggests that men can be fooled by the women to get some lax on their deadlines, I tend to agree with it. This is because many a times same strategy goes for a toss for a male employee.

So where do I stand on this issue? A very generalized answer will make this blog boring. And I am not interested in getting bonus points of goodness by supporting both the choices. Therefore, I say that I prefer a female boss. It comes out from a lot of observations over the years. This is no way suggests anything about my age

Lets see why I would prefer a female boss. First is what I call theory of unknown This doesn’t work with a male boss. If you were unable to meet the deadline it is obvious you are going to come up with a reason that may not be entirely true if you understand what I mean In that circumstance, it is highly probable that a male boss will not buy it as he himself at some point would have used the same tactic or if he is a meticulous one, he would have seen his male colleagues doing the same. I am in no ways hinting that female bosses are incapable of catching this but the fact remains that there is always this hope for male employees that their female superiors will buy whatever they say.

Another reason is what I called theory of contrast. You somehow respect and like the other sex as a supervisor. When you have the same sex bossing you, you tend to expect more out of him believing he/she will understand you better as you share the same gender. This leads to ego hassles and other problems. But the same doesn’t happen with the opposite gender as you have always tend to lower down your expectations and have this slight element of uncertainty as to what the boss will respond on what you have done.

As far as what are the characteristics of male and female bosses is concerned, I can just make  few quick observations. But more or less these are very general and can depend very much on the individual. Women leads will want things to be done in a proper way. I think they do not prefer innovations and love the tried and tested methodical way. Probably that is one of the reasons why we don’t have so many famous female scientists as compared to male ones. Male bosses may invite new styles of functioning but they can be temperamental. Sometimes you yourself just want to do things in a particular manner than thinking out of the box every time. Female leads may have a soft heart at times but again only to their male team members.The reverse holds for the male leads but degrees may vary.

I have had the experience to work with both a male thesis advisor and a female one. Not getting into the history with each one I would say I prefer a female boss. They may be a bit more serious and proper with things but in the end you want the job to be done even at the cost of losing out the male camaraderie. I wonder at times if its true that you hear more of male camaraderie and female bonding and not the other way round. Maybe the issue for the next blog

Anyways, I appreciate the comments on this issue that I raised. I hope we can get into more controversial ones with time. Till next time,

Adios.

Martian or Venetian

Well the question posed by my friend is the previous post.

For you lazy guys like me, the question was as a women, would you prefer a male or a female boss.

Well for starters I thought well what a silly question. I had my answer decided the moment i read it.

But then I realized that it was from a very feminist perspectives. You know you have one of these moments where you have to support something just because you have to, or you are scared of losing your image. Like you supporting a film like aap mujhe acche lagne lage ( I went out of breath just writing that) just because you are a fan of Hrithik Roshan.

Well then I just realized, a preference like this one almost always have to be based on experiences. As much as I respect women and think they are on par with men on every thing and maybe even better than half of them, lets face it, women are hard to work with. Simply because of the way they adhere to every rule!

I am one of them. I go by the book. Its like the book is the bible. I am happy being that. I like being organized. Having an organizer , arranging the things I have to do. Checking them once i am done. Having post it notes in all shapes and colors and using them in every possible nook and corner of the table until the cubicle chokes to death. Well you the get the point. Being suprememly organized is something women like and will strive to be. So working under them is going to be wuite challenging casue well obviously they expect you to be organized and are very unflexible.

While men on the other hand, being by nature very carefree and non chalant( sometimes a little too much that it gets on yor nerves) they are easy to work with. I mean its just less expectation. You come when you want to, leave when you want to, work when you want to , it was enough to just finish the work. I mean that leads to a much comfortable life. And men on some level still consider them to be the safeguarder of women kind and are pretty sensitive to lady’s problems at work! Well I aint saying anything. Helps us!

So well its always a little hard to work with rigid people but way too easier to work in a flexible environment.So my pick , a male boss anyday!!!

What do you all you guys think? say it out aloud.

An attempt …..

An attempt to unravel queries or clear misconception about the sexes. This is what this blog is about. A representative for the men of this world, I, maverick will raise questions about women and my partner here will answer the same. I leave it to her to introduce herself.

Moving on to the issue today. I just want to ask if a female employee will prefer a male boss or a female one. All possible situations can be considered to characterize your opinion. After the reply has been posted I will try and give the answer to the counter question. What would a male employee prefer.

The answer will be the next blog posted by my partner.